Hi and welcome to this week's episode of Money with Alpha. This is going to be a bit of a quick, fun one hopefully if I don't go off on a tangent. I wanted to talk about fun and that's primarily, and I know we shouldn't really need to be reminded to have fun or feel like we need permission to have fun, but I'm seeing a lot of heaviness going on around the world with my clients and there's just so little room, it seems, for fun both time wise and also financially and partly. And it's one of those things like time, money. It's are the two sort of limited resources that we feel we have and it tends to constrain us doing the things that we want to do. So whether there's a career path that you want to pursue but you're concerned about taking a pay cut, I've been there. Or you're, you know, you just, you just can't find the time because, you know, there's partly, perhaps boundaries driven, which again, I'm speaking from experience or you know, there's just genuinely a lot of stuff going on in your world. And I feel like the older that I get, obviously the older my parents get and the more help they need. Plus I've also got a young daughter who also needs a lot of attention and help and guidance and, and nurturing. So there's that sandwich generation generation thing where you kind of get caught in this, this middle where you know, everyone else's needs seem to take priority over your own. So. And that then leads to a certain degree of burnout, which means we're not doing the things that we enjoy and making the time, let alone the money for it. And then it just, it just like juggernauts down, down the hill before we realize that we're at the bottom of the hill and we're exhausted because we've been running the whole way. So I'm here to, I'm speaking to myself as much as to you because you might need to hear this as well because I have tell myself this constantly and I have friends who tell me this and I need to really prioritize it. So I'm going to make it a challenge for you and for me and for all of us ladies in particular to have some fun. We're almost at the end. I'm just trying to think when this, this episode will land in June. I'll probably actually be overseas when it, when it airs. So I will be having Fun. I have to admit though, the, the lead up to the the fun comes with a lot of, a lot of work and a lot of preparation. But I have my list of things I want to do. I've got some things to do with the family, some things I want to do on my own. And I, I love day spas, I love to go for massages and I'm at the moment researching there's a healing spring not too far from where my father in law lives. So I'm looking into that. The last time we went away I booked myself into this really lovely health spa in Italy. And I'm like, I'm gonna find something sort of similar in Germany where we're going this time to visit. Yeah book it in. I mean I have a monthly massage and acupuncture that I get. I don't actually see that as fun or or any like self care, although it kind of is. To me that's just standard health and maintenance. Especially when you're in your 40s and things start to ache a bit more and there's slightly less lubrication on the joints and it's just necessary part of, part of the day to day, you know. So for me it's, it's, it's just essential. So. But it's about thinking about what it is for you. And the other thing that triggered this topic too was I was having a conversation with a friend of mine similar age bracket and young children too and older parents. So we experience sort of similarities in that way and, and we're talking about what we do for fun. And I'm like, I actually am not completely sure anymore what it is that I actually do for fun. What did I used to do? So that was fun and, and it was a really, really interesting moment. It really kind of shocked me because I thought I'd always sort of been a sort of person who. I like to do fun things. You know, I've, I've learned how to make books, I can make jewelry, I've got, you know, lots of craft kind of things that I enjoy doing. I love reading, I do love like going outside. And so I, I do build a little bit of that into to the day. Like when I go for my, my exercise is cycling because I like to be outd. I don't want to. I could cycle in a gym. To me, not, no work for me. I don't like the smell, I don't like the rigidity of it. I don't like that I'm not going anywhere standing still and I'm moving to me that just. My brain just doesn't compute. That. But I get that it works for some people, but it just does not work for me. So I like to cycle then the outdoors. Like to smell the flowers and see what's going on around me and hear the birds and. Anyway but that's. I've built in a bit of fun in my exercise but then just pure fun. What am I? I'm like oh I don't know. Dancing? Yes. But I don't really prioritize it. I have a friend who loves to dance and she prioritizes that and I love that. But for some reason I haven't managed to get myself out the door of an evening to do it. So I was like, well there's got to be something else that's really, really important to me from a fun perspective. And the only thing I could come up with was traveling. That was my go to when I was in my late teens, twenties, early thirties. I was constantly going somewhere. Even if it was just you driving for a day trip somewhere like it was, it was. I would literally on a Sunday afternoon I would hop in my car and I would just drive. Sometimes it would be 300 kilometers round trip. I would go up to. We've got some cute little sort of semi mountain areas. But north of Brisbane where I live. So Lake Somerset, Wivenhoe for those. Kilcoy Woodford, if anybody knows where those places are. I used to just drive and I would just enjoy it. I would stop for a bit, I would sit there, I would read, I would just look at the surroundings and that was so soul nourishing for me. And I was on my own. Like I didn't. I sort of. If I did it with friends it was nice too. But I was quite happy to, to do it on my own. And yeah, it was just, it was really, really I thought. Not that I necessarily want to go back to doing that again because the idea of sitting in a car and driving for you know, how many hundred kilometers does not feel that much fun anymore. But still traveling places. So that's why this trip has sort of rejuvenated me to a certain extent. But I can't obviously do that every single weekend. So I need to try and figure out like a smaller, shorter, more compact way of, of having fun. So figure out what it is for you. And it might not necessarily cost a lot. Like for instance those drives, they cost me Fuel, which back in those days was not as much as it is now. But just really have a think about it and if you're struggling that is even more of an indication that you need to tap into your fun, your inner child and just to go, what did I used to love doing? What do I still love doing? Do I make time for it? Is everyone else's need and priority kind of come first, then it's time to really take stock of that and go, okay. And if your fund does require funds like money, then you need to build that into your cash flow. So I travel obviously does cost some money. And I remember one year I actually went on three overseas trips that it wasn't actually intended to be that, that way. I just had the opportunity to come up to do a trip to France which you know, and was actually this time of year too because I keep getting these Facebook reminders from 12 years ago. I was like, oh my gosh, that's right. And that was also the same year that I went to Uganda for a leadership immersion which was a combination of the hunger project and business chicks. So I did that and then I'd also gone to Thailand because my now husband, we were not married yet then was getting a boat built there. So I had, we had a trip over to kind of look at the build. I mean I didn't have to go but of course you know, there's the opportunity, I'm going to take it. So yeah, so I look back at that, I'm like Now I kind of go well one, yeah, I was going to say every two years overseas but that's not entirely true because last year we did go to New Zealand to go skiing but that was sort of an unusual thing really. So I think back, I'm like I really need to make sure that my budget can flex enough to be able to do more traveling even domestically. Went at the end of last year to New south Wales for 10 days with my mum and my daughter and we had an absolute blast. We visited friends and on Lake Macquarie, visited Hunter Valley, went to the Hunter Valley Gardens for the, the Christmas light show. Sydney at Christmas time is just beautiful. You know the window displays, just the vibe. Tarongas like with so many things. The end of that trip I was like wow, I feel like I've been away for a month. And that was beautiful because it was 10 day trip and we just did so much and also not much too. So we had a couple of days, like when we're down at at Lake Macquarie, we just, we went to the beach and just kind of hung at the beach for a day. And that was really nice. So it's, it's, you really take time out. For me that's nourishing to some people, like my my dad. The idea of like, you know, waiting at an airport and then sitting on a plane and waiting on a plane, you know, I mean we're about to jump on a 24 hour flight. So it's, you know, it's, it's a big deal. But to be honest, I kind of see that as, oh my gosh, I have like, nobody can ask me anything apart from you, my husband and my daughter. He'll be with me. But I can't like just drop everything and have to go help my dad with something. Nobody can. I'm literally like in this, this metal thing in the sky where that's it, I can't do anything else. So I actually find it's probably a little bit sad, but I actually find that, that long flight quite relaxing because this, I know there's going to be no other demands made of me or asked of me during that, that period when I land. But then, then I also have distance hopefully on my side provided nothing too disastrous happens. Which I am, you know, I'm going to just put out, you know, calm, healthy vibes for all of my family while we're away. So it's it's a really interesting process. So I would highly recommend having, just writing down, writing it down, taking some time to alone and write down what you find fun and then look at that list and go, do I, how often do I do that? How often do I actually make the time to do that thing? Because you won't be given the time. You have to make that time. And even when we're, we're younger, we get the choices of what we do with our time and this is where it's important to be very intentional about it. So to write that list, have a look, do a little mini, mini assessment about about where your life is at doing the things that you find fun. And if that fun requires a certain amount of money, then go back to your cash flow and hopefully you've got a bit of a cash flow plan to kind of go, okay, do I have enough money to fund that fun for the next 12 months? If not, how much money do I need? And if I haven't got it in my budget or my cash flow forecast, yet how do I factor it in? And this is why I love using sort of the money pie. Because you can look at, look at your slices and go, okay, well, where's all my money going right now? Can I save a bit somewhere or make more in my business or work more to earn a bit more in order to fund that? And it really it starts to clarify your priorities. I did that a little bit at the beginning of the year. I was like, okay, I'm going to double down on, you know, putting a bit more into my travel account. I also needed to make sure that I put extra money aside for my daughter because I had her just in the general bills. But the, the like, they, they come in waves. So the beginning of every term comes school fees, activity fees. We do investments for her every quarter which seem to correspond to that same timing. So it's. I was like, I need a separate fund for that now. Especially if I'm thinking about a high school that has fees too. So I've, I do that every sort of, yeah, 12 months, but sometimes six monthly if, if something's changed. But yeah, but it's really important because then you're like, okay, cool, I see that money there. And it's not about just this fund. This, this account, this bank account is not about saving, saving, saving, saving. This is an account to spend. This is an account you're allowed to spend. What's in there? It's not your emergency fund. It's not your, you know, investing future retirement fund. It's not you're paying off your home loan fund it or your account. It's, it's for, it's to spend. So make sure it doesn't get too big. It's a bit like, I remember whenever I'd been in, in the workforce as an employee and you have annual leave and some people had like two years, three years worth of annual leave saved up. That was never my problem. I always was skirting on the edge of just enough and sometimes negative leave because I would be traveling, I'd be using it. And it was wonderful. I loved it. But I could never understand these people who had two, three years worth of annual leave saved up. I was like, what are you doing? Use. So this is what the fun fund is for to be used. Don't store it up. If you need to save money for something, that's a different account. This needs to have a purpose, specifically around funds that you don't feel guilty using it and that you're encouraged to use it. Because you're seeing money there. That's not to say that you blow over the top of it and you have to dig into another account. So look at what your. What you want to spend it on. Make sure you've got enough in there and then spend that. So try not to go above and beyond that. I know sometimes that's tricky, especially when you're overseas and you're like, oh, but I really would love to do that helicopter ride. Like, do the helicopter ride, then save a bit more when you come back to pay for it if you haven't had that money with you. Because, let's face it, when we were in Hawaii a number of years ago, we went there as a bit of a treat for my 40th birthday and there was a helicopter tour over the island of Kauai. And my husband's like, let's do it. So we didn't go at the same time because my daughter was with us. And I was like, well, even if we could get a babysitter, I don't know. I know this sounds morbid, but I didn't want the two of us up in an aircraft. And if something happened, she would lose both her parents. So we did it separately. And then the parent on the ground looked after her too, so we didn't need to get babysitting. But I don't know. But anyway. But we still, obviously both were fine. It was lovely, enjoyed it immensely, and it was just such a special experience to see it from the air. So yeah, so sometimes you do need to extend a little bit if there's this really special experience while you're away. But the main message here is figure out what fun is for you if you're not doing it enough, start to schedule it in and budget it in to make sure that you've got the money to do it. So I'll now leave you to daydream about fun and all sorts of things that you would like to do, because that also helps us get through the tough times too, and we have something to look forward to. So I will catch you again next week. Have a good one.
