Hi and welcome to this week's episode of Money with Alpha. This week's is going to be a bit of a personal one. I might get a little bit passionate, a bit emotional and maybe even get a bit ranty. It's been a really impactful few sort of weeks, months for me. There's been a lot going on in my personal life primarily with, with my father and I've been supporting him and doing a lot of care and all of that. And and then we went on a holiday for a month to, to go see my husband's family who live in Germany. And and I have to admit I was like, really, I was like I was dragging myself to the finish line to get me there. I was pre. Doing lots of things. I was preparing to help my dad. I had a friend who was coming to, to kind of like be me in in my absence so that I could have a little bit more peace of mind that he support and he has his neighbors and all. Anyway, so there's lots of things that I'd put in place. And while I was away he he passed away which was quite sort of dramatic at the time, especially being on the other side of the world. And lots of waves of emotions and all, all manner of things have been going on ever since. And it was, I didn't even make it back in time. It all happened quite quickly for him. So yes, it's been, it's been a lot of reflection that I've, that I've done over over the time I think when a life ends even, even when like he'd had quite a sort of a full life. He was 82. He literally died like three days before his 83rd birthday. And we'd actually taken him out for dinner just before we left. I was like, we're going to be away for his birthday, I want to take him out for dinner. So that. So we had a nice memory rather than the memories of the last few months which have been hard. It's been, you know, trying to help get care, trying to help someone who didn't want to be helped and trying to navigate aged care systems and medical things and you know, getting him all the things that he sort of needed and yeah, so it's been, it's been a lot going on in in the background and and then me thinking back over his life and the life that he's led. That's it sort of I, I've come up with. And as I was writing some notes for, for this too because I didn't want it to go off on complete tangents. Still be useful for you taking the time to listen to this. And everything begins with a C. I don't know why that is, but I've come up with like five, five things that I've reflected on that in terms of like life and why I've called this like your time is now. And that is so true. And ever. And actually, interestingly enough, since we came back, there's been a few sort of road fatalities in my area. And that's, that's added to my reflection as well. And these were young lives that ended way too soon and tragically as well. So I'm sort of reflecting on, on a full life that my father had in terms of years, not necessarily in terms of experiences and satisfaction and then lives that are ended too short and just that, that sort of perspective of let's, you know, don't spend too many days and try not to as much as possible. And I realize sometimes it's unavoidable. But to do the things that you don't want to do and look for the things in life that give you joy. Find the joy in as many circumstances and situations as you possibly can. Embrace your loved ones. Do things to. Sorry, I told you this might get emotional. So the Cs that I, that I came up with were clarity, being clear. I'll go through them in detail, so I'll just say them first. So firstly, clarity, courage, confidence, and then conviction, slash, commitment. I couldn't decide. And they're both Cs as well. And then fifthly consistency. So when, when I look back over, over my father's life and the things that he wanted and didn't get, the things that he didn't take responsibility for getting and ultimately what he didn't take responsibility for was his own happiness and being happy or even content. I was, as I was sharing the news with, with different people from his life, one of them spoke about the fact that she is content. And I thought, and then that, that is, you know, that's a really good thing. Like it wasn't just a oh, you know, I'm just like content. It was a it's. There was a happiness built into that. And I thought that's actually a really good perspective and a nice way of looking at life. That it might not be this, you know, jump around, joyous happiness, all of this, but a certain level of contentment with where things are and the things that you've achieved and who you are as a person too is. Actually holds value. And in order to even get there, you have to have a certain level of clarity. And that's why I started with that, because I feel like clarity and the awareness that comes with clarity is one of the cornerstones of things. And I think one of the reasons why there's so much unhappiness and anxiety and depression and all of that is because we're not clear on what it is that we want to have or be and how we want to be as humans, as an individual to, in order to ach. To feel like we've achieved something or that we have a certain level of happiness or satisfaction even with where our life is at. And that that level of clarity is important. Even if the clarity is kind of owning the fact that, all right, maybe I didn't do this or, but I'm okay with that. Because this is now what I'm choosing to do. I was even sort of reflecting with a friend over the weekend and she had this big list that she always wanted all these places she wanted to travel. And I've always had all this desire I want to go here and here and here. And now I'm like, you know what? I actually really enjoy going back to places I've been before and connecting with the people in those places at a deeper level that just as an example, having gone back to where my, my father in law lives in the, in the southern area of Germany, right near Switzerland. And I've been there now four times, three or four times, I've sort of lost, lost track. But I feel like when I go there, I know this place as a, as it's still a foreigner, not somebody who's lived there or grown up there like my, my husband did. But it's, it's lovely, it's comfortable. I go to the same places, I know where to get the things I like to get. And because we're usually there over a few week period, I see the same people in the shops, we have little conversations. I can speak enough German to be able to do that. And it's really nice just to have these lovely conversations. And then people go, oh my goodness, your German is so good. I'm probably making tons of mistakes, but at least I can communicate with you. And that's all I really care about right now. So that level of clarity over how I travel has changed and the sorts of experiences that I want are different. It's not Just going to see all the tourists sites. You know, I want to go to places that have a little bit more meaning. And having traveled around just Germany for this trip, and we've gone back to places like where my husband was born, where his his dad grew up, and we visited his aunt and uncle with going to that place where she grew up as well. And it was just such a different experience. And that increased my level of clarity over what it is that I actually want in life and. And the the level of connection that. That I like as well. And there's another So that's. That's really, really important to be clear on what it is that you want. What is the lifestyle that you want, what is the life you want, what sort of person do you want to be, what kind of parent do you want to be? What sort of relationship do you want to have with your parents, your children, your friends other family members, your clients, even. So that's. That's really, really important because that will then drive so many other things, and it will drive your intentions and your behavior and your beliefs so many different things. It'll drive your habits. It's. It's the mindset inside. It's all built into that. So that was the first c. Clarity. The second one is courage. Because it's not always easy to. To step outside your comfort zone. And I, I saw my dad deteriorate more and more into his shell as he got older because he did not have the courage to do something that was a little uncomfortable or even a little bit painful, even the idea of doing chair yoga, because I was. I was trying to. When I think back to all the things I was trying to sort of help him with, I. You know, I was like, dad, you could do chair yoga. I can sit there and do it with you. Like, I've never done chair yoga before. I'm happy to give it a go. Didn't even want to try it. The place that he lived had a pool, and it was all sort of. That you could like, literally walk through the water, and he didn't even want to give that a go. So there's just like these. These courage that we need to do, to do things out of our comfort zone, even to converse with people that we don't know. And I see this a lot in business. People have this, like, fear of, like, networking and speaking to strangers or selling and all of this stuff. We can reframe it. We're coming from the right place, and we're clear on what it is that we want to do and who we want to be in this, and we're consistent with that as well, which is why number five is consistency. We can, like, push ourselves through that discomfort to achieve courage. To then get number three, which is confidence, which is just to be a little bit more confident than we were and maybe Just a bit more confident than we are uncomfortable. So even if it's just 1% more confident than discomfort, to help us push through that, to be able to. To achieve the things we want to based on the clarity that we're gaining. And the clarity. It's not like you, like, have an epiphany clear on what I want to do, and off you go. It's an iterative thing. It's kind of like, well, I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing here, but if I do nothing, I'm not going to get that clarity. I need movement. It's like you need a, you know, you need movement to steer a car, to. To steer a boat. We. We need that movement in order to. To gain a bit of confidence, to solidify the courage to gain the clarity. So these things all build on themselves, and then we also need to have that conviction or the commitment in order to continue to do that and continue down a path. And that's not saying that, you know, you set yourself a goal and you want to achieve it no matter what. This is where reflection comes in, because you can look at these things that you want to do. And, you know, as a. As a business owner in particular, I do this quite regularly. I set myself, you know, goals and plans, and I have things that I want to achieve, but sometimes those things aren't necessarily a priority. Maybe three, six months down the track. And you're like, oh, you know what? Either this isn't on my list at all anymore, or I'm pushing it down a bit and bringing this up, and I'm going to focus on this now. So. But it's still having that conviction and that commitment to yourself to actually achieve things. And the more you commit to yourself and then you actually do the thing, your confidence grows. As your confidence grows, your courage increases and your clarity also increases. You become more clear. So there's. There's so many reasons to stick to things and to. To try things. And I was talking this morning with with some, some ladies about the human design and, you know, manifesting generators versus generators and, you know, manifesting generators, like, to pivot was the word that came up quite a lot, and change direction and that's totally okay. And, but it's having. Making sure that that's all still aligned with the vision that you have. And that's where the clarity piece comes in. And understanding your value, that you're aligning with your values, it's all leading to the one place and that ultimately that place is you. And it's all internal. This isn't. You can have your strategies and your plans and your goals and all these external lists and everything, but ultimately your primary barometer is inside you to be able to actually make sure that that is connected and aligned and that you're heading in the right direction. So that commitment or conviction becomes really important to. As a check to make sure that you're actually staying on path. And then finally was consistency. And this is. Sometimes you just got to do the thing, you know, you have to do the, you know, stay present on socials. And this is something I noticed while I was away. I was posting about my trip and it was lovely. I was getting lots of feedback and I think people were enjoying following. But as soon as this stuff started happening with my father, I just stopped. So I thought, I just, I can't, I can't go outward right now. I needed to, to stay inwards. I needed to kind of stay with my family, stay connected which was more on the phone than anything at the time, and then kind of just stay close emotionally. And I, I didn't want to, to share anything anymore. And it took me a few days to even sort of share what had happened beyond my immediate sort of friend and family circle because it was just so much to process so that cons, that consistency, I consciously fell away from that. Although I had set up a lot of socials for my business and things before I left. So that still was playing out. So that consistency, because I had sort of scheduled it all in, was still happening. So I think anybody kind of looking at it from the outside would have gone, oh, yeah, everything's still fine. Until I posted that on my personal page, which sometimes links to my Instagram business page anyway, for people that sort of actually really know what was going on. So it's really interesting what consistency actually means and how you kind of work it in with all of the other sort of things and the clarity and your values and all of this. So all of this has to stay aligned and it all has to make sure that you, you are meeting your own needs as well as staying true to who you are. So there's. There's like my five, almost six Cs. In order to sort of. Your time is now. And that's what I'm like. Just now is all we have, really. That's, you know, all we have for sure is our past and our present. And we don't want our past to keep us so constrained that it's preventing us from moving forward in the future. So if there's things in your past that you need to deal with because they're there and you need to then make the decision to work on them and then move beyond them to the point where you can still get clearer on what it is that you do want. Do that work, figure that out, take that time. And if it means sort of retreating a little bit in order to. To do that before you could move forwards again, then give yourself that space. But it's important to do that because without it, we don't have the clarity to be able to actually move forwards and do the things. Is there somewhere you want to travel? Do you want to walk the Camino Trail? Do you want to, I don't know, climb Mount Everest? Do you want to go skiing? Do you want to learn how to do something. Something new? Do you want to learn a language? Then book the trip to that place? Because that'll be the great motivator to learn that language. Like, I was. I was doing a lot more. So learning leading up to our trip to make sure I was reading more German. I was listening to German songs. I was watching some movies in German without the subtitles to try and help you train my brain to get ready for it. And I think I did that so much that when I came back, I had difficulty trying to, like, re. Get my brain back into English. I was like, oh, my gosh, how do I say that again? I was ordering an ice cream for my daughter, and I was like that one. And I'm like, I. I kind of got myself so immersed in it that I found it really difficult to, like, revert back because I hadn't done the reverse, because I didn't, you know, it's my native tongue. I didn't think I needed to but I hadn't quite got myself right into. Into the gear. And even when I was saying thank you, I was like, what language am I saying? I kept saying, dunk it to people. As I came back, I was like, no, no, I'm not here anymore. Because even in Switzerland, when we were flying back, because we. We fly out of Zurich I was. It was still German and on the aircraft there was still, you know, the, Some of the German was. Was playing because it was, you know, coming out of that country, I thought, I'm, I'm now totally confused what I'm speaking. But I trained my, my brain one direction only. So I had to do the reverse then and now it's, it's, you know, back to. Back to normal pretty much again. But yeah, so I'll just, I'll Repeat those, those five Cs, because it's really important to help you live in the now, but make sure that you're making the most of the now, which does sometimes take some forward planning as well. So clarity, courage, confidence, conviction, slash commitment and consistency. And to put the things in place, like book the things, like I've, I've made a list of things that me. That's important. So I've, I've booked the. To do a fundraising challenge again where my daughter and I will be sleeping in our car. You'll be hearing more about that soon. Ive booked the, the conference in Sydney and now I just have to book the flights in accommodation. But I booked the thing. I've locked it in. I've got a few other things that I want to do and I'm prioritizing the stuff that really matters in the. While giving myself the space and time to process because it's my father's funeral in a few days and I've been busy planning that and, and can like. Yeah, it's this. There's a lot to, to organize. So bringing it all together and being present and conscious and allowing myself that space has been a big thing and allowing help. I've had so many beautiful friends reach out to help to, to take me out to, to help on the day to do also. It's just. It's been really, really beautiful. I'm. I'm quite often the person who like, launches into help mode. I'm not overly great receiving it, which is something I'm working on. So I'm allowing that too. And it's, it's beautiful. So with all of that, I know there was a. There was a jumble of emotion and, and a bit of ranty and, and hope you got something out of that and that it helps you with where you are right now and to move forward to where it is that you want to go and who you want to be. So with that, have a wonderful, intentional, beautiful week and I will catch you next week.
