Hi and welcome to this week's episode of Money with Alpha. Today I wanted to talk about a topic a little bit more of a human topic around money. And it's things we've all experienced and it's a, it's around procrastination but also thinking that the way we are with money is, is us. And there's a certain degree of, oh, I can't talk about it. When in fact, pretty much all of us feel one of these things about money at some point in time. And I'm going to go through a few different, different areas of why we procrastinate. Because I've been doing a lot of procrastinating myself lately not necessarily about money, but about, about some, some other things. And I sort of, when I think about it, like, why do we procrastinate? And I've usually got a really clean house when I'm procrastinating because I I will find anything else to do. I'll even clean the bathroom and the toilet rather than do the thing that I'm trying to avoid doing. And I don't know if you do this. I think everybody does this to a certain extent when, when there's something sort of that we perceive to be uncomfortable. And then around money as well, there's, there's all these stories that we tell ourselves and beliefs we have around it that we get to the point where we feel like we've built it up in our minds to such a degree. We think we're the only ones who feel this way and that if anybody really sees us, they're going to, to think badly of us, they're going to judge us. So we try to sort of like, hide it even more and then it becomes even worse because then the guilt kicks in and, oh my, it just becomes this cycle. So I'm gonna like, talk about it today, bring it out there. Because we all procrastinate and even to be honest, sometimes to do with money and bills and things. And I was just like, oh, could I have a conversation about that? Or you know, just trying to, to like, switch providers. I was like, oh, you know, I don't want to do that because some people will sort of think something of me. I don't. You know, there's so many stories that we tell ourselves. So I'm going to kind of go into the way. I think the reasons are in terms of why we procrastinate when it comes to actually dealing with our money. And these are ones that I'VE I can relate to all of them and I'm sure you probably relate to at least a few of them. And I won't be alone on my little you know, procrastination bubble. But the first one is feeling judged and, and I remember back in my 20s when I built up some credit card debt and I I had watched my mum do this when I was growing up and I had sworn I would never be in the same position and there I was. So of course there a lot of self judgment going on there because look like I can't believe I've gotten myself in this position. I should know better, right? That should word really, really cuts when you, when you're doing the, the judging thing. And so we don't really want to talk about it or do something about it because we think others are going to judge us when in fact it's self judgment. Hardly anybody else would even notice. Like this has become, this was such a defining moment for me in relation to my relationship with money and yet I don't think anybody else really knew about it. I probably, I don't even know if I mentioned it to my mother who at the time was probably still trying to go through her own money journey too. But I just remember I just have to deal with this and it's like I just need to like, you know, sweep it under the rug so that it never comes out again. But there was always a little bit of that fear kind of there about either being discovered or doing it again or all of those things. So judgment is a big part of why we tend to procrastinate because we just don't want to be faced with that because then we know it'll just feel worse. Well at least I did anyway. So that was the first one. And then the second one was feeling like you're going to have to do without something like the amount of times people like. But I love my daily coffee and I don't know why we've picked. Coffee is like the daily thing that some people think they have to do without in order to somehow feel like they're better with money. I was like, you don't need to do without your daily coffee. You can even you know, eat out and get takeout and do the thing. It's just how much of it you do, how often and, and also what it is that you actually are aiming for in your life. You know, like if, if that's sort of your, your just the thing. The only thing you do like, you don't really do much else, that costs a lot of money. But having something else like that, like having some takeout every now and then, even, even if it's like twice a week. But that's, that's your thing then that's, that's the thing you need to make sure you keep, not the thing that you've got to get rid of. I'm sure there's other things there that can be gotten rid of or that you could sort out or renegotiate, you know, change your phone plan. And there you go. Like, even if you do that, then you've, you've managed to find the money to, to help keep your, your. The takeout that you want or the coffee, the daily coffee or whatever it happens to be. I remember during. I don't even know if it was before or after Covid now because now there's some of that timeline's gotten a bit fuzzy. My husband bought a a coffee machine and it was a reconditioned one. It was one of these like cafe ones. So it was probably too much for like a solo coffee drinking house because I actually don't drink coffee. My, my Achilles of dark chocolate that's another story. And I budget that in, by the way. I literally have a line in my budget for chocolate. So it's, it's there and it's not going anywhere. No one's touching that one. I will touch everything else. But my chocolate budget line is not for up for grabs or for change. So anyway, so just a funny little tidbit that you may or may not have known about me. But then. So the coffee. So he had them at home then. So I was like, well, that's pretty good. I mean, there was the cost of the coffee machine and you could like calculate it out over time if you really wanted to, to see what your return investment was. The point was that was, you know, he loved his good coffee and that was it. So. So you have to figure out a way to make those things work. So it's not about doing without, it's about doing with and figuring out how to make that with work and even with things like takeout. Because this is one of the big expenses that I often see that people have that they underestimate the financial impact that it actually has. And I was like, well, from a health perspective, is that even really the best thing for you, you know, if you wanted to, to actually live a slightly healthier life then eating takeout twice a week is probably not the best idea. So you start to look at it from a different angle. So it's no longer about money. It then becomes about your health and what it is that you want to achieve and that part of your life, too. Because we're not just all about the money, where, you know, so many multifaceted as humans, and there's so many different areas of our lives that. That have to factor into our decisions as well. So that's the that's the second one is the whole perception about doing without. And then there's a perception that it's hard, that managing money and changing our habits around money and confronting our stories and beliefs like all these. These are really heavy words, like confronting, you know, perceived difficulty, like heart. Like, let's just try and change the vernacular, change the conversation, remove any of those really heavy words, take should out of the vocabulary and start to kind of, okay, well, how can I make this as simple as possible? Which is why I do what I do and to make things simple. When it comes to money, it's not complex. It's just, let's look at some basics. Let's try and figure out, if we look at things holistically, what is going on. But then also, what is it that you want from life? What kind of lifestyle do you want? Do you want the, you know, multiple investment properties and building the portfolios and watching, you know, your capital grow and the share market? Like do you want that or do you. Are you comfortable with just your house that you have. Have some superannuation, you've got some savings that when you retire, you want to keep things, you know, sort of small. You might want to do a bit of travel, you might want to get a caravan, like, just thinking about, you know, the now, the future, and possibly also retirement, if you want to look that far ahead, too. And it might not be that far away. So it really depends. What do you want to do? And not just what does society expect? What, what do all the statistics say? Like, what is it that you really want to do? And having lost my father recently really made it painfully obvious to me that we have a limited amount of time in this life. So making the most of it and actually being intentional and not cutting things out that you want, not judging yourself for things that. That don't need to be that harshly judged, like making things harder than they need to be. Let's try and, like, enjoy life. Make sure that whatever it is you're doing, you're doing in a way that brings you joy that you're not putting too many things off. Like how do you fund the things that you really love to do? What is it that you really love to do? Tap into that. Because so much of our day, it's just driven by routine. It's doing this and doing this the next thing. And then before you know it, another year's gone. You're like, oh wow, what happened to that time your kids are off to school? They're off to university. I was talking to, to one of my business coach of mine this morning and both of her sons are looking at going overseas to study. I thought oh my gosh, like that would, you know. And then I was like, well, you're gonna move over there too, because it's where she's from originally. And so I thought, oh my goodness, just really, really take all the time you can to, to enjoy your family, your friends, your life. Time is precious. So making things harder is not the answer. Let's look at ways to make them simpler and easier. So the fourth thing then was shame. And shame is something that I see a lot of and it links into that self judgment as well. Because we, we feel like we should be better at this. And again, there's that word should, that you know, we should have things figured out. We shouldn't be this. We, we need to be doing this. But we're not doing that. But I don't really want that. So there's, there's a certain degree of oh my goodness, there's overwhelm and then the shame that goes with it. And then we just procrastinate as a result of that because we just don't want to deal with it because we think it's going to be difficult to actually deal with then too. And to, to kind of look shame in the face. It's very confronting as well. Again, these heavy words. So let's just try and be a kinder to ourselves. Even if there is a little you can acknowledge the concept of perhaps there is a bit of shame or guilt there and just go, you know what? I'm going to like wrap you in a nice little cotton wool ball and pop you over there and then I might talk to you so that you're not like in me, you're out of me. And I'm having a conversation with you and going, you know what? You're not really serving me, not really helping me get where I need to go. You're weighing down my mindset and my energy and I don't really want that Because I want to feel lighter, joyous, happier being able to figure out what brings me joy. Do I still like to do the things I did when I was younger or am I going to find new interests? I love to go dancing. But to be honest, nowadays I'm actually just happier to have like, disco parties in my living room in my pajamas with my, my daughter and my husband. And just being able to, you know, dance down the aisles if we hear a song. Like I remember my daughter and I once were at Costco and I kind of remember that song now. That came on over the, the speakers in, in the, in the shopping center and we were just literally like jumped on and there was nobody in the aisle, just so you know, so we didn't, we weren't creating a hazard and we jumped on the trolley and we were just like slamming around and just, we were just having fun. And someone who sort of like passed us towards the end, which is looking, and they had the biggest smile on their face, I was like, see our silliness and our tapping into joy has made somebody else happy. Its okay to be a bit silly. And that's what having a child also helps bring up, that childlikeness, if we let it. There is still seriousness and whatever and overwhelm and exhaustion and all of that too, but trying to balance it out with, with with some lightness too. And then the last thing I wanted to touch on is familiarity. And it might sound a little bit weird, but sometimes procrastinating around something like looking at our finances, it's familiar. We don't really know what's on the other side of that. What does it actually mean to start looking at our finances? What does it mean to start working on our money mindset? We're not, we don't know what that means. So we're just going to stay with the familiar. Even though it doesn't feel great, but we know it and our brains know that we can survive even though we're avoiding it and we're procrastinating to look at it. So our brains are like, you don't need to look at that. You're fine. See, you're doing all right. You're okay. You might have a bit of an after pay thing or you might have, you know, doing some, a bit more online shopping than perhaps you feel comfortable with or that you're, you know, you're feeling bad about, but it's good, it's good, it's all good. Don't worry. About it, don't make any changes. So our brain is wired to keep us where we are. So if we actually want to progress and move forward and grow, because we are also beings who like to develop and evolve and grow too. But we've got to do it in a way that our brains feel safe. So that level of familiarity has to happen incrementally, which means we do little steps, we do bits of work here and there to actually grow and develop in a way that is sustainable and that it's not this, you know, that whole. I still remember my dad. I don't know how many times he tried to quit smoking and he'd go through this whole like, oh, I'm just quitting, or he'd have a perforated ulcer. And the doctor's like, you have to quit smoking. And a year later, he's smoking again. He even tried vaping for a while and then went back to cigarettes. And when I went to his home after he passed and I still found like two cartons of cigarettes, I just looked at that and went, oh, my goodness. He never, he never managed to kick the habit. But he told himself that he, that's who he was. He was a smoker. There was a familiarity there. His body, ultimately, what ultimately went for him were his lungs. And that's, that's, you know, that was a sad reality. He'd been a smoker for so long that his body was. Just kept telling him, you're okay, you're okay. After a while, it's not okay anymore. And I'm not saying that not looking at procrastinating your finances as, you know, it's going to be harmful to your health, but there's a certain parallel that we, we keep ourselves in that state of familiarity. So I'm just going to go through again those five things that I mentioned in relation to, you know, we, we all feel something like this around money and it's. You're not alone. And like I said, I felt all of these things. So the reasons why we procrastinate self judgment or feeling judged, feeling like we're going to have to do without something that we really enjoy, perception, that it's going to be difficult to actually do the work, the shame around why we haven't done it yet and why we're still in the position that we are, and why we don't know about it, why we should know about it, but how, you know, and then finally the level of familiarity that we feel by being in the space that we're in. So have a think about that because some of this is seed planting. And just get your brain used to the idea that change that's beneficial to you is possible and that you can do it incrementally and that you're not going to freak it out. It might just be becoming aware of some of your stories and beliefs. That might just be the first step. If you ever want to talk about it, I do offer a free clarity chat, so feel free to reach out to me. We can just have a chat or even if you're in Brisbane, we can just have a coffee or even a online chat too. So I will leave you there to ponder and think about what I've spoken about today. And yeah, let me know if you have any thoughts or things that have come up. I'd love to be able to hear if this has landed with you or if you have any other questions. Okay with that? Enjoy the rest of your week.
