Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome to this week's episode of Money with Alpha, where I have the lovely Selena Hillier with me. Welcome, Selena.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Alpha. It's so wonderful to be here. I feel so honored to be invited onto your podcast.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. And yeah, we met recently, and through a women sort of networking group, and so we've only really had a couple of interactions in person, and I thought, "Oh, you've got such a beautiful energy." I was like, "I want to get to know you a bit better and explore more about what you do," and then we were having some really good conversations before we hit record, and I was going, "Now I need to hit record so others can benefit from, from these insights as well." So before we get too much into things please tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do. Human Design is your area of expertise, and what sort of triggered you to go down that path and why you love it so much.
Speaker 2: Of course. Yes, so I am a Human Design Practitioner. I learnt this modality about three or four years ago, and I'm also a life coach, which I studied over 20 years ago, but I never really delved into that back when I studied it, and I realize now, 20 years later, it's because I still had my own journey to go through before I could fully give myself to others and help them on their journey.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I've been on my self-development journey for as long as I can remember, and through that journey, I came across Human Design, maybe four to five years ago and just kind of dipped my toes in, found out what my energy type was, and then I got a reading with an advanced Human Design practitioner, and it was then, after I had that reading with her, I thought, "Geez, this is a really powerful tool that could..." It had, it had helped me so much. It had helped me with self-acceptance, do it with myself helped me understand others and how others are so uniquely wired to operate and show up in the world, and I thought, "I wonder if she teaches this." And
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: ... within a week of me thinking that, I don't even think it was a week, I think it was a couple of days, she put up a post on Instagram doing her first cohort of teaching others to become advanced Human Design practitioners, so I signed up and yeah, so here I am four years later, so, but I've, I've, that was, that's the fast-forwarded version,
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: up until a year ago, I was working in the corporate world, so this was just something that I did on the side. It was my passion,
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: ... but prior to that, I was a national sales manager for an advertising agency,
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: ... I I did I thought studying that, studying Human Design and using my background in life coaching, I would be able to use those tools in my role as a leader in the business, because I had, had some difficult team members that I needed to work with, and having that kind of helped me with
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: stage of my career, in leading in the corporate world and then last year, I took a redundancy with that business after being there for seven and a half
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: ... I thought, "I'll just take the next couple of months off, and I'll use this time to set up my business, so that I can actually..." my whole idea was to fuse life coaching with Human Design
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: ... because what Human Design teaches us is there is no cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all approach. We are all so uniquely different in how we are wired to operate.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So, bringing life coaching in with the Human Design, I can look at a person's Human Design and understand how to best coach them through whatever it is that they need navigating through, help navigating through. So I did that. I started my business, built my website, started my
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: ... and then I, the goal was to always go back into full-time work but as it turned out, the universe had other plans for me, and after months and months of applying for, I applied for over 100 jobs, and not getting one single job
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: ... I thought, "Okay, this is a redirect. It's time to throw everything at my business,"
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: that's where I am today.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, it's wonderful. Yeah, I, I only discovered human design, I don't know, maybe a year and a half ago or so, and, and it's fascinating. I mean, over the years, having worked in corporate as well, there's all sorts of profiling tools that get used, and having done a lot of psychometric tests over the years as well I found this one, like human design, which is not a psychometric test at all, or even a personality profile. This is, it's so much more than that and I'm gonna ask you in a sec to, to give us a bit more of a rundown of what it is in case listeners don't know but when I found mine out, I was like, "Mm-hmm, this makes a lot of sense." But before we go into the intricacies of it, what actually is human design? Because I think a lot of people may have misperceptions, especially if their information's purely coming from social media.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course. There can be a lot of misconceptions about what human design is, and I know to a lot of people, they think it's just another woo-woo, spiritual astrology concept out
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: but it really is a lot more than that. Human design, it does blend science with spirituality.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It really is, it's just a modality that takes your date, time, and place of birth, and creates what we call a body graph chart in human design, and that tells you what your unique energy type is. There are five different energy types. You will fit into one of five of those. Um-And from there, having a look at a chart, we can see what a person's way of how they should best respond, how they should navigate life. For example, a manifester, they should follow their urges, they're here to make an impact. A projector, they, their energy is designed to, they're natural guides, leaders, teachers, but they, they are designed to wait for an invitation. They can't just offer whatever they see to the person that they're in front of, or the people. People need to invite them in to say, "What do you think? What's your opinion?" For myself, as a manifesting generator, we, our path is not linear. We have five different things on the go at once. And, you know, learning that about myself, I had so much shame around that for my whole life, that I was, I felt like a quitter, a flake, that I
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: ... I'm a going to complete
Speaker 1: You can't focus.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You haven't finished that, you didn't finish that course, you didn't finish that book. Just so much shame, and that's all of our conditioning.
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: So human design, it brings us back to self. It is just a, I like to refer to it as a self-help, a self-acceptance, a self-awareness. It really is, for me, at the heart, an awareness tool, a self-awareness tool. And it helps you, bring you back to who you innately are at, at the core. And
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: what it does is it gives you that permission slip. You know you have all these things, these little idiosyncrasies about yourself, but for, you know, from years of conditioning that you should fit into this box, or if you don't, if you don't do this, then you're not going to be successful, or if you're not using your energy in this way, then you must be, you're a failure.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So human design really is about recognizing who your soul came here to be. Your soul came here with a mission, and it's showing people and reminding people about all these gifts, traits, behaviors, uniqueness that they, that we all carry.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And also to show us how everyone else around us is so different.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You know, we can't expect everyone to show up like we do, because that's just maybe not how they're designed to show up.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And there's so much judgment, which is self-judgment ultimately, but because of that conditioning, and we're like, this, this is what happiness leads to, this is what success leads to. And to be honest, happiness is often subjugated for so many other things. But yeah, my daughter is a manifesting generator, and I'm a generator, so when she's not finishing stuff, I was like, "Could you just like finish one thing?" "Like finish this before you start that." And then when I learned about this, I was going, "Okay, it's her process. She will eventually finish something out of the five things that she's got on her craft table." But I, basically that, that's made me realize, she just needs more space, like literally more space, so she can have multiple projects on the go, and multiple spaces around the house, which drives my husband nuts. But I'm like, "It's how she works." Like I, I have like stations for her. You know, she'll have a painting station and a, you know, a like Plasticine sort of creation, hand creation station. Then there'll be, you know, writing, and then there'll be something... Like it just helps me set things up for her so that she doesn't feel quite so flaky. 'Cause I don't want her to grow up thinking, "Oh, well, you never finish anything." Because if you think that, then you actually won't. Regardless of your kind of, your profile in a way, but she'll have that just because of her profile, that, that sort of judgment.
Speaker 2: She's so lucky that you have discovered this. And this is what, it's for the, the person who founded Ra Uru Hu, Robert Alan Krakauer.
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: He ultimately said human design is for the children.
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: So it's about bringing it to our children so that they grow up as they are meant to.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So they integrate into life and into society as they were innately meant to.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And just, if we could do, and I, I really think if we have that awareness and be able to accept people for who they are, and if we can accept ourselves, that's the starting point. And that, that then allows us to then, it's like that self-love. You can't really love another until you really understand what self-love is, and, and that, that level of acceptance. And it is, it is tricky when working around people who aren't minded like that. So my husband just sees mess in the house. And I was like, "We have a 10-year-old who's very energetic and loves lots of things, and he's a manifester. So it's, so there's this sort of mismatch." And I, I, I have to struggle, I have to admit sometimes, like at the moment, my floor is full of Lego, because we're building a Lego elf house coming into Christmas. And I was like, "It's okay. Just deal with it. It won't be there forever. She will finish the elf house at some point, and then it will be away and I won't step on it." So, the acceptance.
Speaker 2: So she's, she really is a hybrid of you and your husband then. You're a manifester generator and manifesting generator.
Speaker 1: Yep. Yep. So so it's, but it's interesting. But we're both sacral, so we have that commonality in that way.
Speaker 2: Is your husband emotional?
Speaker 1: He's ego.
Speaker 2: Ego, that's right, he's ego.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Ego manifester.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fantastic.
Speaker 1: But yes, which makes it interesting.
Speaker 2: It, yeah, would.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. So so how, like do, I mean obviously the people have to be open to it to start with. And, and what if somebody doesn't know? 'Cause I, I had this, I had this problem initially with my husband too. He, he knew obviously the date, most, most of us know our birthday. But the time of our birth, how, how does that impact the results that, that comes out?
Speaker 2: So what I, I have a process with this. Usually I will ask someone if they don't know their time, do they have a rough estimate?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: If they don't even have that, within the program that I use called Genetic Matrix, that's where I use to run,
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. Yes, I know that one, yeah.
Speaker 2: When you write, I just put in any random time, and then within it, you can actually select to have a look at it over a 24-hour period for that... For that date. So then what happens is, it will show me eight different charts.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: And for the, for the most part, it will be all of the same.
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: It will be all of the same energy type, and usually profiles as well, which are the two numbers.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And maybe one different. So then from there... I will give the person an overview on both
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: the energy types and just, and the person will know, an individual will know. One will feel
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: relevant the other. So that's usually, not too much does change when we look at it in that aspect.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But yeah it's it's never all is lost if someone doesn't know their time of birth. I, I, my mum couldn't remember, and it wasn't on my birth certificate. And it's no, wasn't on, not,
Speaker 1: I I was surprised by that. Yeah, there we go.
Speaker 2: Yeah. But I actually, because I'm so heavily invested in human design now it was really bothering me that I didn't have my exact birth time.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I ended up reaching out. My, my mum actually ended up calling the hospital. Royal Brisbane Hospital.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: And they said she needs to send an email, it needs to, we need to have a copy of the birth certificate certified by a JP. So I sent it's a bit of a process, but I
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: and I got it. I finally got my... So you can actually ring the
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: and get the time of birth, if your hospital is still around.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was born in Brisbane as well, at the Royal Brisbane too. Yeah. I might, I don't know, I might be a bit older than you but anyway. But yeah, I don't, I, don't understand why they, like, when I, like I was saying before, when my, my father passed and all the information I had to give just to go on the death certificate, and it had the time of death there as well, I thought, "Well why don't we put that level of effort into the birth certificate?" "Put the time of birth on there." 'Cause that would make human design, obviously they weren't thinking about that back in the '70s.
Speaker 2: No. They didn't think of that.
Speaker 1: But yeah and I, and I think what I found probably the most valuable, I mean, I've done a lot of different things to try and understand myself. And so it just probably reinforced some of the things that I'd already sort of recognized. But there's two areas that I, find it really, really valuable. One is how to then interact and understand your children better, and it also helped me understand and accept some of my husband's behavior more too, without getting too emotional and reactive to it. So there's that. And then also, we were talking earlier too about how when you're trying to remember something and we're trying to tap into our conscious mind to remember things, for instance, you know, like money mindset, all of that kind of stuff, or the the, the way things played out in our past. If we've blocked it, it, it takes a lot of work to retrieve that information. Whereas if we can kind of bypass that a little bit and go into our human design, then we can more easily tap into that. Does that, is that how you see it as well? 'Cause I, I find that helps me a lot, by just understanding this a bit more.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Alpha. No, you're right. I think human design is a body consciousness modality. That's what at the core it ... because it is all about being in touch with your body. But it is, it's a remembering.
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: When you start to hear about all of these things that your chart is telling you, it is, you start to remember. And it, can, it can really, it can really bring to the surface the inner child in
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: 'cause you remember. That's, I, I remember feeling that way when I was a child, that I, that I had, I was this way or I was that way and I was really interested in this, or, you know, I I remember feeling so good after giving my brother advice on something because they were a projector. And I'd
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: "What do you think I should do?" You know, there's still just all those little things. It is about the remembering. And definitely, I think it can really help you just to connect back with a lot of the things that you might you might bypass over when you are trying to do that, go on that healing journey and discover more about yourself.
Speaker 1: Yes, and if you've gotta tap into conscious memories, they are flawed. And and incomplete a lot of the time as well.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: But yeah.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 1: And, and I find too that that concept of like the, the blocks that we've experienced in our childhood, when I think back to the things that were I can sometimes remember the things that were said to me, and I thought, "Ah-ha, I can understand that now." And even a friend, like I've got a really close friend who's a projector.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: And whenever we, we do things together she gets really tired very easily. We traveled in Europe together as well, and, and I'm like go, go, go. You know, I, I always called myself like a power tourist. I'd be up at, you know, I'd be out the door at eight o'clock in the morning, and I'd be like going, going, going until like dinnertime, bedtime, whereas she would just, she'd start later, would almost like need an afternoon nap. And I was just like, "Oh my gosh, you're my age. How are how is it you don't have energy?" And when I found out she was a projector, I was like, "Ah-ha." I make so many things, it wasn't chronic fatigue. It was just she needed to restore her energy because as a projector they take a lot on and they just don't have that like sacral like power source.
Speaker 2: No, they don't. Well, projectors don't usually have a motor center.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: Which is where all that kinda energy comes from.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so no, it's interesting to... And so one of the other things I wanted to tap into a little bit is there is a money line in human design.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: How does that work?
Speaker 2: As in a money gate?
Speaker 1: Gate, yes. Gate thing, yes. I I've got the wrong terminology.
Speaker 2: No, no, that's okay. I would have to look it up. There's 64 gates. So I
Speaker 1: Wow, that's a lot of gates. Yes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't have it off the top of my head, Alpha,
Speaker 1: Oh, no that's okay 'cause in relation to money, like how, how could somebody use their human design to perhaps help them with it? Is there a way that it, they, the two can correlate? Like understanding whether they finish things or not, or get distracted easily. Like I'm, I'm always, I'm always interested to see how these modalities can help sort of money and other areas of, you know, financial health.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course. I think definitely. And because it is so nuanced, it's going to look so different for everyone.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think first and foremost, becoming aware of your unique design, your energy type, how you are designed to make decisions.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think a lot of us come from a very conditioned mindset where we have carried into our adult lives the themes around money that we saw with our parents, with our siblings, with even our friends, and how they dealt with money because of what their conditioning taught them with their parents.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I think we can... For me, I know, I definitely feel, even today, as a woman, I can feel that there's a blockage somewhere. And even, this is even knowing my human design as a manifesting generator, because I do jump from one thing to another, am I... I feel like my money block there is that I'm not putting enough energy into one thing to make it successful in order to start generating an income from it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But then I move onto the next thing. So then I feel like there is that blockage still. There's still a deconditioning process that I'm going through to go, "You will make money as long as you allow yourself to follow your gut, or follow what is lighting me up from moment to moment."
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Rather than being stuck in that conditioned mindset of, "Well, I'm not, I'm not making money fast enough from this, so maybe I should try this."
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I think the same can happen with... So yes knowing your human design it helps you in a more lateral view, from a more lateral view, I
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: in that understanding how you should be following your body's consciousness, what it's trying to tell you moment to
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: rather than trying to have everything figured out.
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: That then contributes to how you, how you spend money, whether you're someone who is very spendthrift and, you know, goes... Gosh, there's actually so many things now that I'm thinking about it. I've actually got a girlfriend who's also a manifesting generator, but she admitted that she has a big shopping problem, and we found that when we were looking at her gates, we went, going quite deep into it,
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: ... some of her energy centers where it showed up that it can be like you're trying to fill a void.
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So yes, it does show up. Human design does help. It helps bring that awareness piece to the forefront in where you have been operating from a place of conditioning as opposed who you are naturally.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And depersonalizing it to the point where you're like, "Ugh." And it, and it's not necessarily, it's not meant to be an excuse, like, "Oh, that's just how I am, so nothing will ever change." It's about the ability to create that awareness, remove the judgment, and then go, "Okay, well, what do I now need to do to fix this, knowing that I'm this way?" What's, what can... Like it's a little bit like habits in a way. Like what can I do to make sure that I remember to do blah, blah, blah? Even just today, I was at the hairdresser getting my hair cut, and my hairdresser was like, "Oh..." 'Cause I said to her, "Oh, we've been to Aldi, 'cause they had this like Christmas stuff in their catalog." She's like, "Oh, I drove right past and I forgot I wanted to do it. I wanted to go there to get something from the catalog." I was like, "Well, I get the catalogs, I rip out the page, I circle what I want, and I write the date on it, clip it to the fridge. Then the night before, I take it off the fridge, and I actually put it with the car keys so that in the morning when I go to leave, obviously I need the car keys, the catalog's there, which reminds me, go to Aldi." So so it's... But 'cause I know I'm like that. I need those kind of triggers. And I have lots of things. Like I'm one of those people who I have to get my clothes out the night before, 'cause I have like zero decision-making ability in the morning. I'm just like, 'cause I'm so like, go, go, go especially when there's a time constraint. You know, getting up, getting my daughter ready, getting myself ready, school drop-off, da, da. I don't have time to make a decision about what to wear. So either I just keep wearing the same thing every day, or I think of it the night before when I've got the time and the space, so I've worked out... And understanding my human design helped me kind of de-judge it in a way, going, "Oh, you know, I'm such a control freak." I was like, "Well, actually, no, I'm not a control freak. It's just, this is just when I operate better under these circumstances, so that everything flows much better." And I come across looking really organized. It's like, yeah, but there's a whole infrastructure, an ecosystem around that.
Speaker 2: But that's what works for you, and that's what it is. It's a remembering of, "Oh, that's right." And it's a remembering and an acceptance. It's
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: just accepting, and now, again, going back to that shame piece that I used to feel around skipping from one thing to another to another.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now I just erase it and go, "Okay," and know, and trust that it's... And you just have, it's, that's the key. And that's, and I think that's the problem in today's society. It's, it, there's so much, there's so much talk around, what's your five-year goal? What's your your five-year plan? What's your ten-year plan? What's your goal for this month or this year or this quarter? Goals are not designed for everybody. And I, goals always made me feel so uncomfortable. I was never one that would set new years, new year's new year's resolutions.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I used to joke when I was in my 20s that, "I'm just setting myself up for failure, so I just don't believe in..." You know, thinking it was cool to say
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: when really inside I was like, "I don't know how to set them because I know I'm not going to stick to it."
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: I knew that. I knew, I knew that in myself that I was never going to stick to
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: ... because I lose interest.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Eventually, I lose interest and then I move on to something else.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And
Speaker 1: we're conditioned to think that's a bad thing,
Speaker 2: That's right. That's exactly right. And it's just not. It's so secret. It's about using, accepting and using your energy in how you are meant to, and then everything just starts... ... starts to flow so much better.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. I mean, even I'm not a big fan of goals, necessarily. I need to have some
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: ... but I've learned to go, "You know what? Things change, priorities change, things outside of my control happen, which means I can't do the thing that I wanted to do in the timeframe I wanted to do it." And just, yes, being a bit
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: with oneself. But, yes, but having, having that ability to go, "You know what? I'm much better off perhaps setting monthly goals or-"
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: or even weekly goals, things that I want to achieve in a week." Have maybe a bit of a, like a longer term vision perhaps but in terms of, like, setting tangible goals that you're aiming towards, change the timeframe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, 100%. That's ... and I think that you put that really well, Alfa. I think for me as well is I've got, I've definitely got visions. It's not that I don't have goals for my future or
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: ... I want to achieve. I have
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: of things that I want to achieve, but it's about trusting in the moment what next step I should take to get to that vision. And Like, well, it's not... My path is not linear, so why would I try and make it linear?
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. And the thing is, is that you're going to miss out on different opportunities if you, like, try... 'Cause I've done this in my, my past as well. I was like, "I'm do..." And I was going, "Oh, wow, this feels really restrictive." And I don't even know what opportunities I would've missed 'cause obviously they're gone, but it, it doesn't feel nice knowing that there's that possibility as well. So, having that level of flexibility becomes important because things happen outside our control too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they do. I'm curious, Alfa how... Did you find that human design helped you with your, within your money space and your money story?
Speaker 1: A little bit, 'cause I'd already been on quite a personal development journey. I think where human design helped me the most was understanding how my energy
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1: and why I have this, like, constant need to, to be productive as a generator. Like, that it's just, like, constant, constant. And I would go through phases where, like, for a month, I'd be, like, I could work till midnight every night and I'd be, you know... And then I would be, like, just crash, and I would need, like, a week or two to go to bed early or just, like, chill out and read or watch TV in the evenings, which I don't do. You know, that's not a normal thing.
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1: so I think it helped me understand that. The the money side, probably a little bit less so, mainly because I'd already got myself so kind of like systemized with it, and I... but I think the, the main thing I found was the energy, and the other thing I found was very much helping me understand how to be a better parent to my daughter and and also understand my husband's profile a bit better and how, when that plays out 'cause he's also a Gemini. So, I get, you know... and so is my daughter. So, I get the twins and I'm Aquarius, so I'm, like, very even keeled.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then I get one, one twin and then another twin, and then I'm going, "Holy moly, like, I just, I think I need to go outside, just leave these twins to self-implode, and then I'll come back later." And so I've actually, rather than being the fixer who comes in as the intermediary to try and fix everything now, I was like, "You know what? They're gonna have forgotten about this in no time, and I'm going to be holding onto it emotionally. So, I'm just gonna, like, bow out and let you guys do whatever you do, and then I'll come back in later and it'll be like nothing happened."
Speaker 2: And that's usually what happens?
Speaker 1: Yep, yep.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So I mean, there's often some remnants here and there, but there's nothing, nothing too dramatic, but it probably would be more dramatic if I was there and I kind of turned it into something else because I wanted to try and fix the problem, when these two
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: would be like, "What problem?" I'd like, "What? What, what? Like, did I just miss something here, or did Jekyll and Hyde just somehow, you know, merge?" So yeah, so it's probably helped me in that way the most.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay. It is very powerful in how it can help. It can help, can definitely help marriages, relationships, parenting and your money story. Definitely can help your money story what is your money story if you don't have a awareness of yourself first?
Speaker 1: True, and trying to put that in into perspective, 'cause we were, we were talking before about, you know, how did money show up for you as you're growing up.
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1: and I'll let you put this in your own words, but it, it was sort of a... when you put your money story and your human design over it, does it help make sense? Like, maybe share a little bit about, you know, how you... what you remember or, or not about money as, as you were growing up.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think I'll... For the listeners, I was saying to Alfa before we hit record how I'm in the process of reading Lewis Howes' book on, I think... I keep forgetting the name of it, Make Money Easy or Make
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Get Something.
Speaker 1: like that, yeah.
Speaker 2: But it's all around your mindset, what your money story
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: it's... I'm up to a section where he talks about that you need to think about your
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: with money as a child, how that influenced you, and what were the feelings that came with that. And I was talking to my husband about it on the weekend and I said to him, "I'm really stuck on this. I don't know." And I've and I've, I've been, I've been on this section of the book for the last two
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: because I've just been letting it circulate in my mind. I'm trying to find these memories and I don't... I can't tap into anything specific yet. I know that they will come, but I what it's telling me is that there's still, there's still a big deconditioning process, I think, that I have to go
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: to get to what my money story is because I feel right now I have a money blockage in my life. I feel like there is... I'm, I'm ready to elevate to that next level to bring money in to my
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. Yes.
Speaker 2: start generating money through my
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But I'm, I, I can it's funny, energetically, I can feel it. I can feel it, and I, I don't know why, and I'm trying to remember that. And because I feel my, my memory growing up is that my parents worked very hard. They worked, actually, you know what, Alpha? It might actually now stuff coming to me now as I'm talking about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But my mom was not a stay-at-home mom.
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: I was babysat by another family before and after school. My, my mom and my dad, like, left for work at 4:00 AM in the morning. He was a concrete batcher.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: my mom was in corporate, in finance and private investigations, so she was, like, gone a lot of the time as well.
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2: So they, I just remember them working very hard all the time, long, long hours during the week. And me not being, them just not being
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: a lot. They were there on weekends, but not during the week. And in some really crucial times when I was growing up, just, I'm going to get upset.
Speaker 1: It's okay.
Speaker 2: And being bullied. And I think not being able to talk about
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: with my parents.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yes. The, your, your guides and your support who are meant to be there to help protect you and help you understand how to process things like that. And if they're not there, then you feel very exposed and vulnerable and not supported. So, yeah. And it, it is, and this is the reason I think sometimes we suppress things like this, because it is, it almost feels like we're reliving it. But if we're reliving it in a purposeful, intentional way, because, you know, now you can go back to that book and potentially start to, like, journal this down. I would very much suggest after we finish this today, go and write it all down. And if you don't want to write it, speak it into, into a voice recorder so that you can play it back for yourself later. And I think there's, there's two other influences there that I think you should explore. Firstly, the family that was looking after you. So if your, your immediate unit, like your parents weren't there to support you and when you were going through difficult times and bullying, oh my goodness, yeah, I was teased a lot growing up. Then also, what was that family? Were they, were you, 'cause you're also probably hearing and listening to, to their stories around money. And if your mother was working in financial investigations, I'm pretty sure she would've come across some pretty shady things. And if she ever spoke about it at home, you may have taken on the thing is, oh, well, money is bad, because people do bad things with it, or it turns people bad. And, and even just that type of thing, when you're like, I don't even, you know, remember, like did she, what, I don't even know what she specifically said, but it's the impression that you get as a child that sits energetically in your body. So then it's a matter of doing a releasing process to just let that go. You don't even need to necessarily relive it, but I think, I think we've unlocked something, potentially.
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. Wow. Thanks, Alpha.
Speaker 1: That's all right.
Speaker 2: I didn't, I didn't realize this was going to be a coaching episode.
Speaker 1: Oh, and I'd, I'd love to we, we might we can talk more when we, we stop, stop the recording as well, but it's, but this is the power of it, and, and that, that level of awareness, which I think is incredibly, incredibly valuable.
Speaker 2: Oh, it is. It is, absolutely. ...
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Got a lot to think about.
Speaker 1: Yes. So this is, and there's, I'm so thankful to you for, for allowing us to go down this path and to show that vulnerability. And so for the people listening and/or watching this is the, this is the value. It's, it is worth doing this work, and it is possible to do it, and, and to move through it as well, and to, to then pair that up with understanding your human design. You can then start to manage or create the life that you want on your terms, deconditioned, unplugged from, and I'm going to use this stereotypical matrix, you know, like just live it on your terms. Ignore whatever anybody tells you that is supposed to be or should. I hate that word. Oh my gosh. Whatever should be, whatever the hell that is. Anyway but yeah. So, the work that you're doing is, is, great, because helping people understand themselves, and you're going through it too. Which means you've got even more value to be able to say to people, "You know what? I've lived this. I, I, I know where you're coming from."
Speaker 2: Thanks, Alpha.
Speaker 1: So, thank you so much. We might have to wrap it up there.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But how, how can people work with you? How can they, you know, learn and find out more about what you do?
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. I'm on Instagram. I've got selena_hillier_. I will give you the address.
Speaker 1: Yes, we'll put it in the show notes.
Speaker 2: I've also, I'm also on LinkedIn, Pivotal Moments. Actually, on Instagram, it might also be Pivotal Moments Selena Hillier. I'm on, I've got a Facebook page. But yeah, I, I'm also, one of my passions is bringing human design into workplaces, having been in corporate and toxic workplaces in the I can see how just running a human design workshop for staff can help drive more cohesiveness,
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: you know, collaboration amongst people, and just help people understand. And with that, also using, doing safe space sessions, bringing myself in as a neutral, unbiased coach for
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: ... staff can vent to, someone that they can just talk to that's not HR, that's not
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: someone that feels safe. Using their Human Design to just help them connect back with themself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, help them unlock the things that they have hidden away need to come out.
Speaker 2: Exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you so much. On so many levels, this was such a beautiful conversation. I really, really appreciate where you let this take, the where we went with the conversation. So thank you again.
Speaker 2: Thanks so much, Alpha.
Speaker 1: And thank you everyone for listening, and, this has probably given you all some little bits to, to think about and take away too. So I'll let you sit with that, and I'll catch you all next episode.
