Hi, and welcome to this week's episode of Money with Alpha. This week, I'm gonna talk about something a little bit different. I'm gonna talk about the nervous system of money. So, I've, ugh, this whole perimenopause journey has sent me down all sorts of hormonal rabbit holes, and the concept of a nervous system had never really kind of occurred to me . I mean, you, you know like, your body can feel stress, and there, there's stressful situations, and there's periods of life, you know, having your first child, like, all of these sorts of things, and you, and you know that you're under pressure or under stress. But I'd never really thought about it in relation to sort of how to manage our nervous system. But I've been listening over the years to this podcast that talks about the nervous system of success, and how a lot of us, what we fear is not failure, it's actually success. Because failure is often invisible. Like we, not hardly anybody even knows when we failed at stuff, because, you know, they, they don't know the results. They just, they just see what they see. They don't know how it's turned out and what the actual result was. So so it's often then the success, because that makes us more visible, and then our nervous system is under a little bit more pressure as a result of that visibility. So then, same thing I was thinking. I was like, it actually kind of makes sense with money too. I've, I've noticed over my journey over the years, things have sort of happened so incrementally that my, my nervous system has sort of kept up with the changes, because it's been minor changes, and sometimes when there's been, I've noticed there's been, like, a bigger jump, that I've felt it more in my body, but I'd never really associated it with, like, my nervous system. And if I think back to the start of my money journey and now, if I tried to go from then to now in one hit, I, I don't think I could've, like, mentally or physically held that energy in my body, and that's where that, that nervous system kind of thing kicks in. So, and it's the same thing that goes for habits. And I, I thought of it in relation to habits for many years, and I talk about this all the time, and I, I help my clients work through it, where, you know, you make incremental changes and you do things little by little, because if your brain thinks that something massive is going to happen and change, then its survival is threatened, and therefore we need to, you know, shut it down, which is often seen as self-sabotage, but we shut it down to protect our survival. The same thing happens, to a certain extent, with money in relation to holding space for it. We need to understand where we are at right now, where we want to go to, and the journey that our nervous system has to go through in order to allow that to happen, in a way, and to create that sort of emotional or physiological container to actually hold more money. So, you know, the idea of wanting more money, to be honest, is pretty, pretty universal . Most of us just feel like that what we need is more, and, and that's not just in relation to money. There's so many things we want. Oh, more happiness, more, you know, more sex or more money or more holidays or more fun, or whatever it happens to be. It's always more, more, more. But can our bodies actually handle the amount that we think we want right now? Could you handle if somebody gave you $2 million? And this is, you know, a perfect example is lottery winners. They are given millions of dollars, and most of them end up either back where they were or worse within, I think it's two to five years. Their nervous system isn't ready for that kind of influx of more. So it's understanding that, and then understanding what we need to do to elevate our nervous system to the point where we are prepared to handle more and go, "You know what? I'm ready for this. Let's, let's go." You know? maybe, maybe I don't want the, the full 10 millions in, 10 million in one go, but I'm certainly prepared and capable of handling another 100 to 500,000 right now. You know, just as an example. It could be less, it could be more. So there's a couple of elements to this that I wanted to talk about today. One is the concept of safety, the other one is the concept of security, which is different. Then there's the energy that money has and holds in our lives. Then there's the confidence factor, and then there's judgment. Oof, we'll finish on the, the biggest one. So let's, let's start with, with those. So we talk about the concept of safety, and this is, this is a little bit, you know, like Maslow's hierarchy of needs as well. You know, we need to sort of make sure that our, our basic safety is, is taken care of. That we... And there, and there are a lot of people, especially women, in the world who aren't in a safe situation. So that's generally where the financial side needs to come in to ensure that safety, that you've got a safe place to live that you're actually physically safe. Mentally as well, but physically first and foremost. So then once the money can give you that level of safety, then there needs to be, like, security. Then comes that level of, well, I have, I'm safe, but I now need security. Like, food security maintain that home so I can remain safe and secure so that it's, it's not going to, to be taken away and that is, you know, for your family as well, so you have a level of security. So we're still kind of stuck in that. If you think of it from a chakra perspective, you know, those base kind of chakras, you know, your root and your sacral almost, you know, there's, there's still that need for, I need some stability I need security. I need to be able to feel that first. And if you don't have that, then that becomes the the immediate focus, is, is achieving that. Once you have that, and it's also acknowledging that that exists, so a certain level of stability. We don't just magically achieve some of these things, or even if we do, we don't necessarily acknowledge themBut our brains need to acknowledge it before we can actually progress. And that is where some visualizations kind of come in, having having more of a plan in place to know how much money do you even need? How much then do you want? Because they are two different things. We often think of, like, "Oh, I need more money." It's like, well, okay, you need a certain amount, yes, to survive. Anything more than that becomes a want. And then there's that judgment, which I will cover of more later, of, well, why should I want... Can I want more? Like, am I allowed to want more or is that greedy? Or, you know, and there's so much of that judgment that sits in our bodies, especially as women in our in our society. And there's that capitalism kind of market economics that kind of go alongside it, so we're designed to want more and then do we... So we become so conflicted. So we need to be able to have the energy to hold space for more. And done in alignment. done in alignment as well. So understanding what our, what our needs are, what our wants are, what our values are, what kind of life do we want? The lifestyle. So we need to have that clarified so that our energy can be aligned and matched to that so that we can then attract the opportunities that will give us the abundance and the financial abundance to be able to have that more. So there, you know, it kind of sounds a little bit more complex than than it really needs to be, but ultimately, it's just acknowledging that money is energy. Energy flows. Money is going to flow out and in and out and in, and it's making sure that what flows out is less than what flows in. But that the outflow, as well as the inflow, can be intentional and conscious. So we can consciously go and find more inflow. We can attract opportunities with a greater degree of ease, perhaps, than right now, in order to have that. I was thinking recently to, you know, there's certain situations going on in my world where, you know, someone's sort of employment, you know, it seems to keep ending. And it's done in a way that they keep expecting. It's like, well, you do get what you expect. Whereas I've never had that. I've never... I've always tried to look for the best in someone, look for the best in a situation. Doesn't always work. But trying to find, you know, the greater message in it, and to try and take something from it. Even if I didn't actively choose the situation, trying to create my choice in terms of how I respond and not feeling like the victim. And that's something I've carried with me because I could fall very much into that. When I was in my 20s, I could be very buried in victim. Like, "Oh, why did this happen to me? Oh, why does this always happen? Uh-luh-luh-luh." You know, all of that. And I think about it now, it's like, oh my goodness, I'm such a such a whiny person. I couldn't even think think of that now. But I do see it a little bit in my daughter, interestingly enough. So had a little pep talk with her this morning, actually, about how our lives and what we expect tend to come to us. So if we expect something to be hard, it will be. If we expect something to be easy and streamlined, it will be. So the, the things that we want and that we desire that we don't want they're all kind of neutral in terms of how the universe or the world sees it. So we can then choose what we focus on. So that energy becomes extremely important. If our energy around money is constantly, "Oh, it's hard, it's heavy, it's, you know, it's not safe. It's, you know, I never I've never had any, so I'm just like kind of used to that." So why would you get more if you're, if you've never had any and you're kind of comfortable or you're used to that? You need to get used to starting with more, and little by little, building on that so that to you get to the point where you're like, "Oh, okay. It is okay for me to have more money. Right. So let's keep going, shall we? let's keep, you know, flexing that more." And I can be responsible with it. Just because I've got more doesn't mean I need to spend more, because I've been there too. It's a bit like the bigger handbag analogy. The bigger handbag, the more stuff you put in it. But you were perfectly okay with the amount of stuff you had in the smaller handbag. So it's understanding that as as a universe, it abhors a vacuum. It wants to fill it. So make sure that what you're filling your world with is intentional. And that energy and the outflow, the outflow doesn't have to be spending it on stuff. The outflow can be an investment. So the money comes in and then the sort of the outflow goes towards an investment which is gonna grow and develop and evolve and, and give you something in the future. It can be for you, it can be for your child or your children. It can be for a charity. Like, the, That, that outflow becomes intentional. The outflow doesn't have to be just on bills. Like, how boring would that be if it's just bills all the time? So, so try and build in outflow that's not so much heavy and look at it differently as well. So I'm not gonna go too much into that because that, that could be a whole conversation on its own and I could really monologue on that, which I don't want to today. I want to be able to make this a little bit more uplifting. And just to give you a little bit of a sense that there is a nervous system element to this that you can uplift in order to hold space for more money. So with that energy and recognizing that there is the outflow and inflow and that the the way you focus on it is the way it will start to, to appear in your world. Then comes the confidence that you have from recognizing that and taking action. And such an action could be setting up a micro-investing account or an ETF, an automatic download, or automatic, sorry investment scheme-I shouldn't probably call it word scheme, but a system, automated system to start building investments. And with that, when you see it growing, even if it's just savings to start with, you see that growing, the momentum gives you some confidence. With confidence comes more action and comes the space to grow even further and hold more space for more money. And confidence comes from doing. It also comes from making a commitment to yourself and actually seeing that commitment through. So if you say to yourself, "I'm going to do something," like, "I'm going to open that micro-investing account and set up my roundups and then add in, say, $10 a month," if you don't do that, you will start to judge yourself and then the confidence will start to wane because you're like, "Well, you said you were going to do that and you didn't." So what makes you what my brain's gonna go, "Well, if you're gonna do this..." And it could be in another area of life, like, you know, getting healthier, losing weight, or eating better, or whatever it is. If you don't keep your commitment to yourself in one area, how is your brain gonna trust that you're gonna keep it in another area? So the confidence starts to wane even more, and then you start to get harder on yourself, and that's when the judgment really kicks in. And the judgment that we often think we're scared of is a judgment from others. And yes, that's unpleasant, I have to say, 'cause I've experienced that a lot as well in my world, and I think we all have, but it's self-judgment that's actually worse, because we're judging ourselves so harshly, and usually in private when no one else can be there to defend us. You know, like, sometimes if I, if I hear my daughter say something hard on herself, I'll be there to counter that and go, "Okay, well, perhaps you could have done that better. However, you gave it a try." So even, like, she was practicing the piano the other day and she kept hitting the wrong notes and getting really frustrated and wanted to just stop. And I was like, "Yes, but then you're just never gonna get any better." You have to get comfortable with the discomfort and the failure and the not doing things perfectly, either the first time, second, third, fourth, fifth time. You have to just keep going. That's the definition of resilience for me, is to just keep on going, even if it doesn't seem like it's working. Like, you have no idea how many times... I know this might sound little bit silly, but how many times I failed at making spelt sourdough bread until I finally hit it, and I still don't get it. It still doesn't work 100% of the time. Even though I seem to do everything the same, it doesn't always work. And I'm like, "I still don't understand." But I'm gonna keep going because I want to make homemade bread. I like when my homemade bread works really well. So it's just that, that constant level of judgment that we have on ourselves, and even the perception that others are going to judge us will stop us from doing things. We're like, "Well, what if everyone in my circle has always been like this and we all complain about the same things? If I stop complaining about that, they won't accept me anymore. I'm gonna have grown or outgrown them." And the reality is, perhaps you will. Perhaps you already have. That doesn't mean you wanna keep yourself small just to stay there. You can thank, whether directly or indirectly, you don't even have to confront anyone for this, but you can thank them for their, their friendship and their support, hopefully over the time that you've known them But then just see what happens, and things just tend to fall away as they do. I mean, I've had friendships for no particular reason, sometimes there was, sometimes there wasn't, and sometimes we've just grown in different directions. And that happens. So don't keep yourself small just to stay part of a friendship circle or even family circle. You just share a little less about the things that you're doing and the successes that you're having. That doesn't mean you need to be totally silent on them and then not even strive for them, but they don't need to know everything. Not no one needs to know everything. You can process things on your own, you can journal, you can have plans, you can find the right mentors, you can talk to the right people and then start to elevate the energy and the capacity you have for accepting more money, and then managing it in a way that will allow you to continue to accept more and more and more. Which is why I'm constantly going on about having clarity about what it is that you want, having visibility over your money, and then having the flexibility to allow it to grow with you. That's very important too. So that your nervous system, as it grows and evolves, the actual financial system that you have on that other side of the balance scale can grow and evolve as well. And sometimes they might grow a little bit differently. Sometimes you might get more money and go, "Ooh, crap," and then you'll be like, "Well, I've got to uplevel here," and then you uplevel. Or your nervous system you're doing the work on uplevels and then you're like, "All right, come on money," and then it might delay a bit and then catch up But it's this iterative up and down, up and down, and you've got both sides there. That emotional nervous system side and then the actual physical management of the money side, which is why I always talk about both, because I don't think you can do one without the other. I don't I'm, yeah. The way I believe it is that you can't. But others might have a different opinion, but that's where I am. So thinking about all of that, where are you in this? Are you sitting in safety? Security? Still working on the energy flow? The confidence of actually taking action and doing the things that you say you're gonna do? Or judgment? Just sit with that and see where you're at and acknowledge and start to move forwards so that you can hold more and have a greater impact and build the life that you want. With that, I will let you think and ponder and I will catch you in next week's episode
