Hi, and welcome to this week's episode of Money with Alpha. Today, I want to talk about something that's come up a number of times in the last few weeks. I'm on the back end of quite a few International Women's Day events, so I've been talking to a lot of women around money. And I spoke at one of the events as well, which stimulated a lot more questions and conversations too, so it's really, really interesting. I find whenever I'm in the room, and women know that I'm a money sort of person, so I'm a, I'm a wealth educator, but specifically, they come along and they're like, they very, like, quietly ask the questions that they, they don't know to ask anyone else. like, "So, so what, what, what, what do I do here?" And one of the questions that sort of has come up in a number of different ways, but essentially it's the same, the same question is, "How do I know what to do next?" Like, "How do I know how to prioritize what I'm doing with money? What's, what, what should I do next," or, "What should I do now," "What should I do in general?" These are, this is the, probably the main question that I get. I, I get a lot of, "Oh, I'm not good with money," or the, I, I can almost tell when there's, like, a bit of a wall, and then there's that whole, "Yeah, I'm good. I'm, I'm fine." And I can tell by, like, the clenched jaws, like, okay, I don't think that's, that's the full thing, but that's all right. Maybe not ready to talk about it. Totally okay. But in terms of that feeling of sort of pressure and stress and that, that insecurity or that, that, the just not wanting to look silly or feel vulnerable and ask questions is, is extremely common. So if, if this is something you experience, it is, it is very, very normal, very understandable, and very common. So I thought today, I'm going to actually answer this question in my podcast, because you may be thinking it too, or you might know another woman or women who might be having the same questions and don't really know what to, to do about it. So obviously, I can't talk to any specific examples, because I'm just talking based on multitude of conversations. But the three things that I would do when I'm asked with, or that I would answer when I'm asked this question is, where are you feeling the stress most right now? What sort of goals do you have? Have you set any? If not, it's time to start setting some, and we'll, we'll talk through that. If you have some, when was the last time you looked at them and did a bit of a mini review of your goals? And then thirdly, look at your habits. Are they supporting the goals that you want and the lifestyle that you want? So it sounds quite simplistic, and it's only three things, but it's, it's really, really powerful. And that first one, I'll, I'll go into it, each of these in a bit more detail now, but that first one, where are you feeling the most stress? And that's, you know, when, when there, when there's, you're trying to find priorities, because our attention is so scattered. There's so many lists. I literally have a planner with lists, I have other written-out lists, I have reminders in my phone, I have calendar entries. I have so many different lists. I have lists in Trello. Where else do I have lists? I have got lists... I feel like I've got lists upon lists upon lists. And then I've got diaries, I've got planners, I've got, like, a, a weekly one, I've got a monthly one. Then I've got annual, and then I've got my vision board. So there's, there's, there's all this stimulation everywhere, and that is just our world. Then there's all of the other things that come in. You know, there's the requests for things or the client work that comes in, the business development that you have to do in order get more clients, and then the networking, and there's, and then of course, you're out, like, I've been out probably for the best part of the last week, and I'm, like, playing catch-up. Like, I, I literally feel like the, somebody gave the analogy of a swan recently, and I was like, yeah, I can really relate to that, you know, looking very serene and put together on the surface, and underneath, the little legs are just, like, paddling away 'cause they're like, "Oh, oh my god, I've got to, like, keep up here, but I still need to look like I have it all together." We don't all have it all together all the time. I certainly don't at the moment either. I'm planning a, a launch party for, for my app, Prosperous, which you may have heard me mention. And, and so I, and I keep coming with ideas, which is why I had to create a Trello board, 'cause I was like, "Oh, what about this? And what about this?" And I was like, "Oh, and I could showcase other business ladies I know like this." And then I was like, "Okay, just, just, like, take it down a notch." And then I'm like, "Oh, and I could find this merch, and oh, there's this, and oh, this is really cool," and there's something I'm trying to source at the moment, which I would love to, to have, but I'm just still trying to figure out how to make it work in terms of where I'm getting it from and also the financial cost of it. But it'd be really fun and cool. Even to the point where when I was getting some merch recently, and they had, like, you know when you go into a Vistaprint and those places, and they have, "Oh, and while you're here, would you like this?" Well, I clicked on one of those, and I ended up with a mouse pad. If you're watching this, you've just, I've just shown you the mouse pad. But my old one was actually so old that I was finding it hard to actually move around, so it was perfect timing. Now I have a nice brand new Prosperous mouse pad, which is kind of fun. Anyway, I digress. Back to the topic. So where are you feeling the most stress at the moment? Is it day-to-day bills? Is it in, you know, trying to pay school fees? Like, where, where is that stress? And, and acknowledge it, and then see if there's anything you can do to help with it. Is there a payment plan for whatever it happens to be at the moment? Are there ways, like, I've, I've literally had about four sessions with clients in the last probably 10 days, and every single one of them has needed help with stripping day-to-day expenses. I actually have somebody I refer people to for that, and and his specialization is actually finding the better deals for things like health insurance, house insurance, contents, car insurance.Uh, mobile phone plans. There's, there's a few different things, but it's a lot of those, like, household, day-to-day things. So, he takes the legwork out of it, which is why I love... When he, when he started to do this as a, an additional service to his own business, I was like, "Oh my God, that's fantastic. There were so many people that could use that." But yet something that... And, and alleviating things like that, like, you can find hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. I remember when I, I used to do this a bit more with my clients. Now I, I can outsource that to somebody else. But when I used to do that, literally the average I would help people find in a year would be two and a half to three thousand dollars. Now that's, that is significant. Like it's... I mean, it could be a holiday, but it could also just mean, you know, having being able to, to pay a few bills without defaulting on the time or, you know, paying it by the due date and not having to accrue extra interest. It's, it's enough to actually make an impact. So, where are you most stressed right right now? And figure out if there is a way to alleviate that. If it's mortgage, chat to a mortgage broker. If you would like some recommendations, I have curated a referral circle of people that I really trust and I, I value and I respect what they do and how they do it. I work with people who are very human. This isn't just about the money, although money is kind of the byproduct, but it's making sure that you get the right result for you. So, if there's areas like that that you would like some help in please contact me and I'm happy to refer you on to the, to the specialists who are good at what they do, and might be able to actually help you save some money. So that's really the first one, because there is an element of survival that goes with money. There are ways to do things with money that you won't even notice and that's one of the things that I will be going through in the Her Prosperity Collective, which is... sits alongside Prosperous as the app, but it's the community that I'm building. I want women to be able to have a safe place to go to be able to ask questions, learn, become educated around money, become educated about how to build wealth and the sequencing of what to do, the areas that you need to be aware of, and the specialists that you might need to, to engage at some point to find out more. So you want... This is, this is the whole reason I do what I do, is like, community and connection are very important to me. So that's why I'm encouraging you to, to ask questions and to, to reach out if there's a topic that you'd like, or you want to know who can help you with something if I can't, if I don't know the answer or that's not my area. So that's, that's probably the first one, really. When people when they're at my answer if you're, you know, "Where should I start?" It's like, "Well, what is causing the most stress?" And a little bit of overarching review of finances is always a good thing. Like, gaining a bit more visibility about where the money is going and what's also coming in because... And that's, that's the whole reason I built the Prosperous app, is to give that level of visibility, because it's really hard otherwise. Banks don't provide this information in a way that's easy to, to digest. And then it's the, how do you take that information and then connect it with the other parts of your life to be able to allow you to see the possibilities of what money can do for you? That is a huge part of it, the possibility thinking. And that's what I built into the app, is being able to allow you to see scenarios and what's possible so that you know, if you did something now, and then based on certain assumptions, like in terms of rates of return and, and lengths of time, you can see what the possibility of the result could be so that you are clearer on the decisions that you want to make in the here and now I get very passionate about this. So... And then the second thing I mentioned is setting and/or reviewing some goals. So, I had a session earlier today, actually, with, with some new clients, and they had their goals. It was... It actually made the conversation so much easier. I was amazed at how quickly we, like, dived into the detail and then like sponges as we started to go through all of this, because they had their goals. They were... had some clarity. They just had kind of bolted things on into their life over time, so they couldn't see the bigger picture. And then they had some information and knowledge gaps. And I'll... And I could fill in some of those and then Others, they needed to, to, you know, find out a bit more that day. I referred them to a mortgage broker. And then there's someone to help them with property management. So it's, it's understanding what, what could they actually do. And then once they have that additional information, understand if the goals that they set were realistic or if they need to make some adjustments. So, setting the goals is an important first step, because then you know what questions to ask, or at least you can say, "I have a gap in this area of, with my knowledge. Who do I talk to to fill that gap?" And sometimes it's me and sometimes it'll be someone else that I can refer to. But at least having that goal allows you to have the conversation, rather than it just, like, pondering and sitting in your head and you're like, "Mm, I could ... I'd love to do that. I wonder if, I wonder if I could do that. Could I? Oh, it's not possible. I won't even think about it." But then it's mulling around in your mind and mulling and mulling and mulling, until at some point you verbalize it to someone. And that's, that someone has to be the right person. Because if you verbalize it to someone who's like, "Oh, no, that, you know. Yeah, who do you think you are? You could never do that." And I have heard this come from clients where they've verbalized some of their goals around property investment and they got the, "Who do you think you are," response from a family member. That just makes me feel sad, because it's like, okay, just because they're family doesn't mean they're going to get what it is that you're trying to do. And usually it's envy and jealousy sitting behind that because they would probably want to do the same thing and they do not have the guts to do it. So they're now pulling their family member down. So be very discerning in who you talk to about things like this. Make sure you're asking questions of the right people, and somebody who's done it before. Rather than, you know, sharing your hopes and dreams, with, you know, money dreams with somebody who's never really actually progressed financially, they'll have no perspective to add to it anyway, and they'll talk you out of it. And maybe that's a good thing, maybe that's not, but you at least need to understand what your options are. So start to write down. Pen and paper, the best direct link between your brain and then our hands. It's much easier and ... Well, not much easier, but it's much faster and more effective than just typing. And then it's on a sheet of paper. You can sticky tape it somewhere, and you can just, like, ponder it. You can start the process and just start writing it down and then think about it. You're like Do I really want that?" 'Cause sometimes what comes out when we start to write down our goals is what we think we want or what we should want or what we've read at our age we should want or where we should be, and they never work because we're not aligned with them. And then, then comes that whole, "See, I I knew it wouldn't work because, you know, nothing like that. Ever, you know, I'm, I'm not good with money." But, well, you may have just picked the wrong goals. It might not have been a goal that you actually wanted and that was aligned with, with your lifestyle and your personality. I know I've, I spent a few years trying to kind of go a bit uphill. I thought, "Oh, I'll get into some, like, property, property development," and then nothing just, it just didn't seem to, like, click into place. Stuff would fall through. And I was giving this example earlier. I was trying to do a property development on my, on a block that my grandmother had lived on. We were trying to, my mom and I were trying to sort of optimize this so that there would be more money available for her care, 'cause we didn't know how long we needed to care for her. And we thought, "Oh, we could get things going within 18 months, then, you know, whatever is i-" we got kind of shot down at the beginning because of zoning. But then five years later, I drove past 'cause I thought, "I'll just have a look at my grandma's old house." She'd since passed away. And the house was gone, and there were four units, or a block of units actually, set up there. And I thought, "Right, so the zoning thing wasn't the issue. It just wasn't the right thing." And then I realized it was a good thing it didn't work, because it probably would have completely stressed me out having debt and all of the other things that go with and all the moving parts. And, and it wasn't something that I 100% understood either, so that's probably ... Lesson there was don't invest in something you don't really understand. Just buying and selling property was fine, but having to actually do development applications and all of that, I was having to rely on someone else, which when I look back I was like, "Mm, probably wasn't the right person to rely on there." So, review your goals, write them down, and then go back and when you're fresh in the morning just read them again. And then finally, look at your habits. Just notice. And it's not just your physical habits around money, like in terms of what do you do or feel like when you get the, a bill in the mail or the email, 'cause these days they're not, you know, you get electronic copies of bills, not just paper. What do you do? Do you just, like, let it sit there and then it falls further and further down in your inbox until the point where you get an alert that says, "Oh, it's overdue"? Then you're like, "Oh, crap, I forgot about it," because you, you kind of, like, push it to the side? I think we've all been there, by the way. And or are you, like, do you pay it super duper quickly? I'm, I'm To be honest, I'm a little bit in between. I look at the best time of the month from a cash flow perspective and the interest that I could earn, and I make sure I pay it at the beginning of a month rather than the end of a month, because I'm like, "Oh, I've spent this whole month earning interest. I don't want to pay it until that month is over and then I've earned interest on the entire amount for the month." So and that's a question I get a lot from clients as well is, "Oh, do you use a credit card? Hey, is it, is it a good thing?" And I was like, "Well, I personally do use one. I use it not 100% of the time. But I use it on, on things that I, like bigger things, and then I have that one bill that I pay at the end of the month. And it's always paid out in full before the due date, so I'm not incurring any interest." So from a cash flow management perspective, that is a tool that I do use. But it's a question I get a lot. So look at, look at the habits that you have around money. Are they supporting your goals? You know, if you've got goals where you want to progress and build wealth, but you've constantly got late fees on, on your bills or you're collecting or Afterpays or buy it now, buy now, pay later kind of things, or you've got more credit cards and personal debt, those habits are not going to support-... a goal that you might have when it comes to money, which is also adding to the stress that you're feeling. So, it all starts to compound, and if the habits aren't supporting you, then you need to start looking at why. There might be some self-worth issues sort of sitting in there. There might be some belief systems that you might need to work on. And it's important to be aware of it, because that is the first step, becoming aware of it. Otherwise, day-to-day things like, time passes. We just keep doing the same thing over and over again. I got into that as well. Like, my mother lived on credit cards when I was in my teens. After she and my father split, she wasn't earning nearly as much as he was. There wasn't much money coming in. Managing money was not something she'd ever learned how to do, because when she was a kid, and then even in her 20s, her mother controlled the finances. Even when she got paid, her mother controlled it. She wasn't allowed to even learn how to manage her own money. I couldn't even imagine that. Like, I was like, if anybody had tried to do that to me in my 20s... I say that, you know, right now, like, in, in hindsight. But, I don't know in reality what would have happened if my mother was that controlling, which she wasn't. She learned from her mother's mistakes and/or situation and then corrected them when she was a mom especially in in that regard. But she had no idea what to do, 'cause she'd never had to really manage it. And then I started to repeat those habits in my 20s. I had some credit card debt, and I'm like, "Oh, I don't want to go there." But I thankfully became aware of it sooner and then was able to do something about it. And then I made sure that I put habits in place that I wouldn't get back there again. So, that's why the habits part is really, really important, and then the belief systems around this, and the believing that you are capable of doing it, which you are. I don't even, like... We could be I could be talking to a complete stranger, and I know that you can do it. But it doesn't matter what I know, because I know every single human, especially women, are capable of managing money well. And not just well. Well enough to be wealthy. But you've got to start to believe that first, and then adjust your habits bit by to support that so that you can have the goals and then start achieving them. They can just be little ones, like literally a goal could be, put $10 a month into micro-investing, or $10 a month into a savings account. And then you build that up, and then you get to $100, and you're like, wow. I can actually do this. I can do the things that I set out to do. And your confidence and your ability to rely on yourself, that you're gonna do the things that you tell yourself you're gonna do, starts to grow. Then the momentum kicks in. And once you start to pick up on that, you'll want more. You'll be like, "Oh, what can I do? What else can I do? What, you know, what other goals can I have? What, what can I achieve? I I really firmly believe that I can do this now." So, and it just starts small. And then that stress starts to fade away, and you start to feel more empowered. So that's, that's what I would answer, obviously if I was in a conversation with somebody, a lot shorter, about what to do to prioritize things with your money. So, focus on the areas that you're feeling stressed first, and work on fixing your financial ecosystem around that. Secondly, set and/or review the goals that you have around money and growing financial independence and resources. And then thirdly, look at the habits that you have around money and whether or not they're supporting the goals that you have and the results that you get is, from that. So, with that, I'll let you ponder, 'cause that was a bit of a thoughtful episode today. If you have any questions, or please reach out if you want to know who else to talk to with a certain problem. If I can't answer it, I will find someone who can. And I will catch you in next week's episode.
